Donald Trump just came here. You're kidding. Whats he on a tight sched? Yeah. Hes like our Bob Hope, he just runs in? Yeah, he was scheduled. Oh, okay. He just wants to get right on. Oh. Busy guy. He is The Donald. Mostly he is used to getting his way and why not? I just did stand up at his Taj Mahal the other day [Inaudible] You did stand up at the Taj Mahal? With Bubba, yeah, that's where Bubba was. Hey, there, how are you? Hey, Mr. Trump, look at you looking good. I am looking good. I think you dropped a few. Hey, Donald how are you doing? All right, just watch youre put on those headphones or else we won't hear you. Here, hold on. Now we are good. You messed up my hair. [Inaudible] Your hair looks good. Artie just worked your place. Artie just did stand-up. That's right, I was at the Taj. It was -- Yeah, you know what, I heard it was very successful. Yeah. Very good. Another [Inaudible] Even Mr. Florentine was that one of Trump's properties. Robin's boyfriend. Yeah, it was Nick Di Paolo. That's right. Very good. How are you doing in this economy? Are your assets down or are they up? Well, I'm all over the world, Howard, we're doing 73 jobs all over the world and other parts of the world. When you say jobs you mean buildings? Buildings, like in Dubai and the Middle East and in China and lots of other places. Who's gonna go to Dubai? I keep hearing about this Dubai. Everybody's going to Dubai. I tell you we are selling like hotcakes. Howard, I'm telling you I was just in Afghanistan, to stand up for the troops, everyone talks about Dubai, like, you have got to go to Dubai. It's amazing. It's the nicest place in the world. It's amazing. I'm doing -- Do you get laid in Dubai? Oh, yeah. Well, like actually truthfully, for maybe all of the wrong reasons you have some of the most beautiful women in the world there. Oh, because of slavery or something? No, because they just go there. They go there? Yeah, whats the wrong reason? They follow the money, Howard. They do, right? They are all looking for guys like you. Its all rich dudes. They're all rich guys and a lot of women looking for a rich guys. And the other nice thing, it's Jew-free over there. I tell you what, its an amazing place. It really is. Are Jews allowed in Dubai? That's why its an amazing place. [Inaudible]. Its like an exclusive country club. But you know then you have like in this country and we have become a sad situation because of our president, the worst president in the history of the country, I mean, Who are you backing? Well, I like the fact that McCain very strongly wants to keep taxes low, I mean with this economy you can't be raising taxes. Can I tell you something? You bringing up a good point. I've been thinking about this. Here's what I don't like about Obama. He is saying -- You know I'm disgusted with government, I pay 50%, 50% of the money I earn. You're going up. Right. If he gets in, you're going way up. This is what's bugging me. I think, God forbid, if you ran your business like the United States government you would be bankrupt. We are so in debt. Trillions of dollars. And the only reason is because, government does not know how to spend money. You see, they spend money on anything. It's not their money and politicians And they just keep taking more They keep taking more and there is more deficit. And now a guy is going to get in office and tell me I'm not paying enough? Excuse me, I'm working half a year for the United States government and you're telling me I'm not paying enough? It's a problem. It's a problem. You know the amazing thing? I watch all the business stuff I like the business stuff I read. Nobody ever talks about OPEC. They say the speculators are driving up oil. Speculators, speculators are nothing. You're a speculator, we're all speculators. Nothing. OPEC they have these guys sitting around a table. They raise the price of oil. And because we have a stupid president they get away with it, I mean, we have a president that goes to Saudi Arabia and wraps his arms around these people and says, you know, we love you, we love you, we love you. The next day they announce they're not going to anything for us. They're raping us, they're raping us. So you know look we need a new leader we've got to get this guy out of there fast. By the way -- Yeah, I have to say I heard Donald on another show I think it was Greta Van Susteren and he said exactly that he said, You know, the president just went over to Saudi Arabia the price of gasoline keeps going up and he's holding hands with the guy. What would you say to the Saudi Arabians if you were President Trump? Oh, we'd have fun, so let me just tell you those oil prices would drop like a rock. Tell me about that. You know that you have ships all over the world that are loaded up with oil. They don't know what to do with there's so much. And yet the price keeps going up. Right. It's a monopoly. Howard, if you have a store and I have a store on Fifth Avenue and we get together to set prices they put us in jail Right. Now you have these people like, 12 people, 14 people, they sit around the table they say, Let's raise it, we have a stupid president heading the United States, he's not going to do anything, let's raise it. Howard, there are so many things you could do. Number one you've got to let them know. Hey, places like Saudi Arabia wouldn't be there if it weren't for us If we didn't protect them. We protect them. Right. And you know it's -- it's really -- it's really a very sad situation Why does the government approve ExxonMobil mergers in three seconds and they can't figure out how to approve a satellite merger? You know I often talk about that. ExxonMobil, these two monsters, the two biggest, they get together they merge it's okay but you guys can't merge. What is going on? And your stock ain't doing so well. Right. Because they're raping these companies and they try to bankrupt us. We've got this great guy Mel wants to do a good job. You know, I mean, you're doing a good job. You got to merge OK merge. That's it. And yet ExxonMobil merges in 15 seconds so you figure it. The Chicago Tribune wrote a great editorial yesterday about this is ridiculous that Exxon and Sirius can't merge It's finally getting some attention? Well, it's upsetting people I mean, the government is corrupt. Jim Cramer is a great guy he was on The Apprentice and he's just a great guy and I don't know if you've ever heard his [Inaudible]. But he goes crazy every night He's great About why they're not allowing this merger so It's upsetting. He said it's ridiculous. It's upsetting to me not only because obviously I would -- I would do well if the companies merged but it's upsetting to me that government would hold companies up for ransom and to make it so political and the lobbyists have their way. And that some companies are favored over other companies. Right. They're trying to get money, you are trying to make business. They're trying to do it. Well, it's not my business, Howard. And personally, I don't care, as long as you continue to be on the air. It doesn't make any difference to me whether they merge, although I would like to see Mel do well, so I like it. So I couldn't care less if they merge or not but I will imagine -- So you are telling me there's lots of oil out there and that And ships won't come in, huh? It won't come in. Lots of oil lots of lots of ships loaded up with oil and they don't know what to do with it. So if you were President Trump, I will go back to that now, how would you pressure the Saudis, would you say, Listen we're going to let other countries invade you and we're not going to protect you anymore? You know the part of the problem with this country is a question like that you have to reveal your hand. You don't talk about when you go into a business that you don't talk about, This is what I do. I had an idiot come into my office the other day he says to me, Mr. Trump I'm a great negotiator. I really negotiate well. I read all your books. I'm making a deal with this guy, right? He said, I'm really a great negotiator. I can really negotiate too. Now I've never met a good negotiator that tells you he's a good negotiator. You don't talk about it. You'd rather go in and say -- Let's go in and you do your thing. You don't talk about it. So you're saying elections are backwards in other words people shouldn't reveal what they're going to do. They shouldn't be revealing what they're going to do. I mean I see things the other day where the Pentagon we found out is thinking about attacking Iran and we're going to fly planes here and there then we're going to land them here. We're going to fly and we're going to bomb them at 4:30 in the afternoon. But we may make it at 4:45. This is crazy. What do you think the late great Douglas MacArthur would have done if he heard about something? He would have vomited Okay. You know look we have a country that's not the same as it used to be Howard it's not respected Have we gone downhill? Totally downhill. It's not respected. Our leadership isn't respected and frankly, our country is just a different country than it was 10 years ago. Absolutely. You go to Europe you look at the euro it's strong you look at our dollar it's weak it's just really. I mean, as an example, yesterday I closed on a house $100 million. $100 million? What house is worth -- In Palm Beach. No kidding. A very nice Russian gentleman bought a house for a $100 million. Now wouldn't it be nice if an American would give me $100 million instead of a Russian? You can't get that anymore, it's all foreigners, isn't it? It's the foreigners because the dollar is weak. Yeah. By the way, I don't mind a weak dollar because I keep trying [Inaudible]. In a certain way that's so bad but you know there's something nice about a weak dollar. Wait a second, you're telling me in Palm Beach -- In certain ways, it's not so bad for me. Doesn't sound very good but you know there's something good about a weak dollar. You're telling me, you just sold a house in Palm Beach for $100 million. A man, it's a very sad story, about two years ago a man went bankrupt and he had a house in Palm Beach and a house in Palm Beach was a very good house. And I bought it in bankruptcy, I bought it out of a bankruptcy auction. What did you pay for it? Forty-one million dollars. OK And I fixed it up, you know meaning I painted it. Right, I was going to say how much did that cost? About $250. About $3. No I painted it. Yeah No, wait. You did more than that, what did you put? About two million in? I put in a couple of dollars. Okay. And I sold it to a gentleman who's going to, I think rip it down probably and build a bigger house, you know. Right. Frankly, I don't know what he's going to do. It's on the ocean? It's right in the ocean. I should have come to you. You have plenty of money. Not that kind of money. Wow, You spent about 25 million though on renovations on this thing, right? No, I didn't. Not that much? Now I would say it's a little -- He wouldn't fix it that much [Inaudible]. You're off by about $24, 500. So that was a very good deal for you? Yeah, that was a good deal. I mean it was a good deal but it's you know it's not my big deal but it's it's like pretty sad when you think of it that most of the people that were negotiating I mean it's a great piece of property Right. But most of the people negotiating were foreign They never mind all that, Melania is still tight? I mean, how she look? She's looking good. I saw an interview that my fiance did with her Right, true. And she looks sexier than ever. She thinks your fiance is great. After the baby -- Do you think you're going to invite Melania and Trump to the wedding? Absolutely. I said it last night. I said I'm going to invite Trump and Melania Are they on the list? They are on the list. They don't have to do [Inaudible] Everybody wants me no matter where it is how they all want Trump, Trump is hot. Well, listen -- So they all want Trump. So, I'm just curious as to whether or not he's inviting me to the wedding. I'm gonna invite you. Now the big question is whether or not I'll go. You don't have to go. In fact, believe me it's too much pressure. You must go, come on. Well, the invite would be nice 'coz this way I could say at least I've been invited, and if I don't go you're not gonna mind. And as a favor to you, the invite will say, Donald trump plus current wife. In case anything goes wrong. [Inaudible] You know I do a lot of times, I'll invite guys like, you know, from -- I would say, well I'm -- he's going to be in Europe closing a big deal. So I have something -- so I invite him knowing he can't come because I don't want him to come. So, I always invite people that I know won't come because it's like having them, you get all the credit for it, but you don't have to suffer through their company. You know what, Donald, can you get Howard back to the joke he made about you on your wedding. Oh, he killed me. I was right. You were wrong. Years[Inaudible] Your ex-wife, Marla Maples, were just National Inquirer, they said, her body is one of the tightest bodies around. She's a great looking girl. She still looks good. She was a gymnast or something, wasn't she? She is a beautiful girl. But during the wedding and Howard sat right next to O.J. Simpson and in fact, he put me right on the cover, you know me and O.J. At the back cover of his book, which it did very nicely. Thank you. But at the wedding I was with Marla, and Marla is, was a really nice girl, you know, but yeah, I made a mistake. But she was great. [Inaudible] But here's Howard's statement that you to be one of the people I have everybody in New York is the biggest craziest thing that happened all year. They have to interview Howard. Right. So I go back and Marla wants to make love and I want to watch television to see what kind of coverage we're getting. That's why you're successful. I knew the marriage was in trouble that first night. When you do that that's not a good sign. You agree with that, Robin? I agree. You should have been for the sex. So, she's in bed saying, Darling, I love you. And I'm trying to find out you know who's on. So the only guy they have, with all these people, big celebrities everybody was there. You would say That's right. I mean even O.J. When he was hot. Right. Of course you could say he's hotter In a bad way The hottest. In fact I have to. Okay, before I talk about O.J. Because I do have to tell you about O.J. And The Apprentice. I'm going to ask you about that. NBC went totally crazy when I went to put O.J. In The Apprentice switch. Let me ask you something. Do you still talk to O.J.? Howard said that, There wasn't a wet eye in the house. [Inaudible] and then he said, now Marla's watching this and you know she's a very romantic person because, There wasn't a wet eye in the house. I thought that was her. I cracked up then and it was true. Yeah. That's the sad part, nobody was crying at my wedding. No one cared. [Inaudible] It was like, you know, the talking, this is great, what a great -- That was a good time. And then he had another comment. Do you remember your other comment? Yeah. I said the marriage would last six months. Six months and you were wrong and you were wrong, it lasted four years. It did You were wrong. I was wrong But what are you gonna say about his wedding? Well, you know Melania knows people very well. And she thinks you're marrying a spectacular woman. You know she really likes Beth, you know that. And I would probably, Howard might not invite me, but I think Beth wants Melania to be there. Right. She does, that's true. But they have a good relationship and Melania thinks that Beth -- that this is going to be a very good marriage. Really? So you have to say this. What do I know? I would say it probably won't work because they don't work. Right. Okay, you know, they don't work, it's not because of Howard's or hers. It's because if you look statistically most marriages don't work. I'm hoping mine does. I had a friend Yours is working though. Listen to this. I had a friend always said, Donald, Donald, my wife is great. I got it right. He's not that successful, he goes, You got the big success, but boy, look at my marriage is great. Meantime, I find out the other day his wife is having an affair. Now what do I do? Wow! Ooh! Do I tell him? No. Yes. Oh, Absolutely. Absolutely. The man's living that dream. If my wife was having an affair You'd want to know. And you found out about it. You didn't tell me. I'd be mad at you. Well, I'm I think I'm probably going to tell him, I think I probably already have because he listens so your show, so he probably knows who I'm talking about. Wow, Howard, I got to [Inaudible I'm not happy about this. What if my wife is having an affair with Donald Trump. Then if it's you, don't tell me She'd never go back to you if that happened. I know. You're an excellent lover. Don't brag on my show. I'm not allowed to do that. Talk about this for a second with The Apprentice. You said that you were going to you know try and get O.J. [Inaudible] celebrity version, yes. That's right. Okay You were friends with O.J. You know, you sat next to him. So how did you come in contact with O.J.? I was friendly with O.J. And I played golf with O.J. And you know when I heard the story about O.J. Because I've seen O.J. Like working out and running and when I heard the story that he wasn't physically capable of beating this very nice young weightlifter. Right. And a woman. Right. Because he was 55 years old. O.J. Could be 100 years old and destroy any you know virtually -- I mean O.J. Was a physically strong guy. Absolutely. You didn't see any evidence. And when he was in a rage -- when he was in rage -- I mean this guy knew he was in serious trouble when he was in rage. You forget it. You looked at his eyes and you say, hey, he used to carry for a linebacker you know O.J. Had very skinny legs. Right. And it was almost like a medical miracle. They say, How come he can carry four linebackers from Pennsylvania on his back nine yards? Almost impossible. He's like an ant, he was really you know eight times stronger than his weight Deacon Jones couldn't tackle him. No you couldn't, you couldn't bring him down. Right. So you know, then they say, Oh, he was a little bit older. I mean, you know, he wasn't -- He had arthritic knees he couldn't get over the fence. Remember if the glove doesn't fit, right? [Inaudible] So you were friendly with O.J. I was friendly and I wanted to -- but I must tell you I really abandoned O.J. Of course. I was extremely disloyal. Right. When I realized he killed his wife [Inaudible] I decided that I'll take a pass. Right. [Inaudible] Why did you put him -- Why would you put him on The Apprentice? Well, you know, in your business there's a thing called ratings That's right. Big, big, big. And you know you can come up with a cure for cancer. Right. I found out a lot about your business because hey I'm the biggest star, right? Right. You are. I am now the biggest star. There's no bigger star than you. I've got the biggest -- You know Melania says you are the biggest star. You are bigger than Tom Cruise, you are bigger than anybody. That's why I like her, okay? Somebody else would say, You're nothing. So I know that if you come up with a cure for cancer. Right. And if you put it on and if it doesn't get ratings they will not broadcast it. They could care less about -- They care less. The guy who invented the cure for polio we don't even know his name anymore. And it doesn't matter. That's right. [Inaudible] Jonas Salk Couple of us remember but not too many. But anyway, so you come up with a cure for a disease. Now good. Okay. Now, I know this, if I put O.J. On You have the biggest season ever. Thirty five million people. So did O.J. Call you and say -- I don't want to go into it but O.J. Would have done it. Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah! Don't leave me hanging like that. What do you mean you don't want to go into this? I can't go into the details. Did you talk to O.J.? I refuse to say. Oooh! Did you speak to O.J. I hadn't spoken to him in years. I don't like people that kill their wives, okay? Does that make sense? You know what I like that about you. Does that make me a disloyal person? Makes you honorable. But I like women. A lot of people thought you like guys who killed their wives. I don't even like guys that beat up women, you know you got a lot of those guys around, okay? Have you beaten up a woman in a relationship? No, I'm a lover not a fighter. You never killed any of your ex-wives? No, no, no. I'm a lover not a fighter. I mean, yeah, he could've. Great lover, poor fighter. People would've understood it if you want to kill an ex-wife. No, no. I've had women that wanted to be, Robin. I've had women that wanted to be beat-up. Really? Smacked around I've had women that said and I would, you know what I say? I'm sorry darling but that's not my thing. If you could -- Smacking is not my thing. If you could would you put Osama bin Laden on the Apprentice? I'm being serious right now. Now that's bigger ratings than O.J. I can get Osama -- Be honest. We all want to know where he is. Would you have him on The Apprentice? Osama bin Laden. Well I think it would be one way of getting him out of hiding. So you would? He'd never get [Inaudible]. The man who blew up the World Trade Center. [Inaudible] You put him on and then the guys come along and finally capture him. By the way. How is it that we can't capture six foot six Arab? Right. Who's walking in the woods of probably Saudi Arabia, in my opinion. I happen to think he's in Saudi Arabia. [Inaudible] You said it earlier in this interview you said, We are so hated around the world right now that this guy is actually beloved and his people won't give him up. Let me ask you this, do you think the late great Douglas MacArthur, the great general, Go ahead. He had the whole deal going, right? Right. [Inaudible] He was a genius. You know in the history of West Point, think of this, he was the greatest student, to this day in the history of West Point, Is that true? He had the highest marks ever in the history of West Point. And that's why he never liked you know Eisenhower because Eisenhower was you know he never felt he was an equal. Would you think that the great Douglas MacArthur would have allowed Osama bin Laden to be free this long? No, I don't. I believe -- You know, Donald, he wouldn't have allowed a lot of things, wouldn't have allowed turning away from Afghanistan to deal with Iraq and the whole thing. It would have been a totally different thing. He would have gone into Saudi Arabia and gotten the families of the terrorists. He would have done a lot of different things. Were you -- were you for the invasion of Iraq originally? No. You were not? You were always against it? Well, I tell you what, you have to remember one thing, the answer is no, but I have to qualify it. We were lied to by the president. We were told that this is where it all started Right. We were told that this guy had nuclear weapons, he didn't have an M-1 rifle. He didn't have anything. He had nothing. He had a shovel apparently because he dug himself a hole and [Inaudible] But Robin, he had nothing. Would you put President Bush in The Apprentice? Yes, so I could fire him quickly. Would you put Hitler on The Apprentice? Don't ask me these questions. [Inaudible] Let's go back to O.J.'s [Inaudible]. Let's go back to O.J. it's less controversial. He's almost hitting Hitler on The Apprentice, he's talking to Heather Mills, right? Well, I have actually, Heather Mills wants to be on very badly. She's almost Hitler now? Heather Mills wants to be on. She's go a tremendous dislike for her husband her husband, her ex-husband Paul McCartney Even though he handed her 60 million bucks. You know I was watching Larry King and he was on and she was on they were holding hands and then she took off her leg and showed her leg and I -- Excuse me, he's a Beatle [Inaudible Did McCartney get off easy in his -- because -- No, no. He should have had a pre-nuptial agreement. Of course, but he didn't. He could've given one. He could've given a million. She would have been extremely happy with 1 million. Right. A lot of money a mean you give somebody a million dollars you get divorced here's a million bucks.[Inaudible] Why don't you get Peter Cook on the Apprentice the guy with Christie Brinkley Not a bad idea. Not bad, right? Maybe I'll get Christie Brinkley on. [Inaudible] I'd rather have Peter Cook. I'd rather have both. Get them both on. [Inaudible] How would O.J. Do, let's say O.J. Had agreed to be on The Apprentice do you think you could have given him a shot to win? Yeah, I think he could win. I think he'd kill most of the people on the show. You think he'd kill the other contestants. [Inaudible] I know a friend of mine he's a friend of mine a great guy, I won't tell you his name, but he's a big guy. He had O.J. On the board on a board of a charity. Right. And he, you know, when this happened recently as I said Did you ever said you know O.J. Was a nice guy but every once in a while like if he got into an argument or a disagreement with somebody in the board the rage was unbelievable the board was sitting there they were petrified. [Inaudible] Wow. This is a board of stiffs. This is a board of rich stiffs, and O.J. Would get angry and everybody would just shake they didn't know -- And that was before he killed the wife. So you know they had no idea. The black guy's angry. Must have been unbelievable. So Heather Mills could be one of the potential Could be. next season people like -- You know Joan Rivers announced, your friend, right? Yes. She announces she's on. We have -- let me just tell you when we did Celebrity -- Apprentice became a tremendous success. And then last season we did Celebrity Apprentice, which frankly I like more, because you don't have to build up the characters, you know the characters have been there for 25 years, right? Right. So we did Celebrity Apprentice, it became a tremendous success a ratings. It only matters if it's a ratings you know. I mean when I say Success meaning it's good ratings. You have shows that are unsuccessful in the ratings. I had the guy on who won it. Pierce Pierce. He's a good guy. Pierce is great, yeah good guy. And I heard he was very nice. Calls me Mr. Trump like he is a great guy and -- H Good guy. And by the way it took a lot of heat because people didn't think he was a great guy. When I say he's a great guy he's a very smart guy. He deserved to win. Right. You were honest about it. But think of it. He deserved to win he's got his own show. Trace Adkins, nobody ever heard of him, he was a country singer. Country singer Trace Adkins, right? By last year he told me he couldn't get into the Country Music Awards this year he hosted them. Right. So we got to number one record. Right. Do you think he should give me 20% of everything? No Huh? Yes. I mean, yes. I do. How about you, you build people up then make a fortune then they forget you', right? Absolutely. I'm doing it right now. So everybody wants to be on The Apprentice, so now the problem we have over 100 and you know it's amazing how many celebrities or Howard. You know you think of celebrities like that like for like there's like thousands of them. And you have had sex with most of them. No, only the good looking ones. Have you had sex with Madonna? No. Never? No. Wouldn't be -- Is that a lie? No. That would be a great notch on your belt. I don't disagree. I'm not knocking Madonna but that wouldn't be for me. There would be zero attraction. You do not feel attracted to Madonna. I would not -- I would not do good with her. Because why? Because I wouldn't be attracted to her. You don't think you could get it up for her? I think I'd have a hard time. Wow. Now I don't find her attractive. Not anymore, I agree. I mean, she's just not for me. Has she offered herself to you? No. Never? No. I really don't know Madonna, actually. But I mean that wouldn't be my thing. Do women come up to you and offer themselves to you? they say listen, I want you What is the most outrageous offer you ever got? They do, in levels of beauty that you wouldn't believe. Wow. And they're really, I mean, some incredible beautiful women that walk up and they'll flip their top and they'll flip the panties.[Inaudible] Have you ever had sex with a fat woman in your life. I had sex with women that got fat. [Inaudible] We that we understand that. Many times. He's never had. You know I got a feeling he's not. Have you ever reduced yourself to a night where you had sex with a fat woman? Well, actually I'm attracted to women that are a little chunky A little chunky. I'm talking about -- Have you ever -- Well, what are you talking about? I'm talking about 30 pounds overweight. Well, 30 pounds I could handle. You could. But have you? Never. You know -- You know I don't even think about sex anymore other than with my wife, Howard. Is that true, though? I really wanna know the truth. Sure. Are you a new man? Are you happily -- [Inaudible] No, I think like right now I'm content sexually. I'm sure you see women you want to have sex with, but I feel pretty content. But are you content? Absolutely. [Inaudible] You have a little twinkle in your eyes, Donald Can you imagine if I live answer that question, like, no -- Can you believe it? Front page of every frickin newspaper. I find it very content. Officially I am extremely content. If I could get Michael Vick on the Apprentice show, would you want it? I like that idea. You like that? You know Michael Vick got a bad deal and you know what if you go to the south, and I go to the south, because I have deals and, they have dog things these dog things are all over the place. But then they put him in jail for the rest of his life. I mean the middle of his career But they're not legal No, they're not legal but you know they have them all over the place. The dog what a fighting. But he's an NFL star Dog fighting, cock fighting, everything. NFL star, he doesn't need to be involved. It was a very stupid thing for him to do. It was stupid and for him to be involved in all that. I'm not a big fan of pit bulls. I've known too many people who were badly hurt by pitt. I know a girl who is beautiful who is taking care of a dog who was a pit bull. The dog ripped her apart. So I'm not a big fan you know these people come out, oh the poor dog the poor dog. These are trained killers these dogs. Yes. So, I'm not, you know, when I had two pit bulls fighting they fight themselves than us. You know what, Donald, you obviously got a hit show and I don't want [Inaudible] give some advice. You have Michael Vick on and the task he has is he has to open a kennel or a pet shop and you have Hitler on, he has to open a diamond store on 47th Street. [Inaudible] Have you ever been with a woman that looked really hot with her clothes on and get her naked and then you're totally disgusted like you just couldn't deal? Yes. That's happened to you? Oh, yes. So there are women who can disguise. What happens when they take the clothes off? What do you see? Saggy tits, [Inaudible] pancake tits? No. But I think that this woman was extraordinarily bad breast jobs. Right. What do you mean? Well, everything looks very beautiful but you know they had the wrong doctor and things like that. So actually it's not so much. Isn't it unbelievable, women are -- one woman beautiful had big beautiful real boobs, really beautiful. Right. And she wants them reduced. You get a breast reduction, Robin. I got a breast reduction, Yes. That should be against the law. You agree? To me, I think to me I think anybody is insane if a woman is, okay I hate to say this Robin, No doctor should be allowed. They should go after these abortion doctor. [Inaudible] Well I don't know if you're happy with who but I have never seen a good breast reduction. Well she got the wrong doctors because I've seen that too, and the scarring is a nightmare. I saw a woman -- Do you have any scarring, Robin? They're -- they're hidden. Hidden scars. Really? Well then you have a good doctor because I saw woman who was totally beautiful Right. She was angry that so many men were calling her. How dare they call me. It's terrible. They're all looking at my breast. So she had a major breast reduction. The good news nobody calls her anymore. And the bad news, nobody even looks. And not only that was a terrible job. I mean she has scars up and down. [Inaudible] I happen to think, so many doctors, you know I'm not a big fan of doctors. I've seen so many doctors destroy people. Tell me etiquette though. Here you are you're Donald Trump you're famous beautiful woman comes up to you want to make love you take her back to your room she's now nude and you see these defects. At that point do you go ahead and bang her any way to be a gentleman or do you find a way out of it. You're talking pre-marriage? Pre-marriage of course. Absolutely. I'm actually talking post-marriage but I know you can't so go ahead. What do you do? How about dooring, Howard? If I thought she was a really nice person. I would do everything I can to, you know, because I wouldn't want to insult her. I really would. You would try your best? But I'm not good for medical, you know, in other words like if you like cut your finger and there's blood pouring out, Yes. You're gone. [Inaudible] I tell you what ha -- I was at Mar-a-Lago and we had this incredible ball the Red Cross ball right in Florida in Palm Beach Florida and we had the Marines, and the Marines were there and it was terrible because you know all these rich people they're only there they're not there they're there to support the Marines. But they're really there to get their picture in the Palm Beach Post, you know the Palm Beach post, you know all the shining shit. So you have all these really rich people and a man about 80 years old, very wealthy man, a lot of people didn't like him, he fell off the stage. Wow. And the Marines were given the worst table the whole place, you know they gave the worst table in the whole place to the Marines and we're celebrating the Marines is like 10 Marines and everybody else has the good table. They don't even know what the Marines are. They never heard of the Marines couldn't tell us how much they are giving $100, 000 a table but they don't even know where the money is going. They couldn't care less. So what happens is this guy falls off right on his face hits his head. And I thought he died. And you know what I did. I said. Oh, my god that's disgusting and I turned away. I couldn't, you know, he was right in front of me. I turned away. I didn't want to touch him. [Inaudible] The Marines, this is a great thing Can somebody clean that up? Now the Marines, he's bleeding all over the place. I felt terribly you know beautiful marble floor didn't look so good. It changed color became very red. And you have this poor guy 80 years old laying on the floor unconscious and all of the rich people are turning white. Oh, my God this is terrible, this is disgusting and you know they're turning away. Nobody wants to help the guy his wife is screaming She's sitting right next to him she's screaming. What happens is these 10 Marines from the back of the room they were so far back you know it's a huge ballroom. Mar-a-Lago, you've been there. I've seen it. So in the back of the room they come running forward. They grab them. They put the blood all over the place that's all over their uniforms. They're taken at this swipe. They ran them out they created a stretcher they call it a human stretcher but then runs out like five guys at each side. They ran him out. I never saw it. You would never do that. I would say like, clean up it's disgusting. You wouldn't shake hands with me. That guy forgot to call the next day. I forgot to call to say if he was okay. It's just not my thing. So you know when -- You're afraid you'll get the disease through the phone. Not even disease I just don't like looking at blood. I know, I know it's terrible. Like you know, when these people call me that when I know it's terrible like you know when these people call me like a beautiful girl. I see a beautiful girl. She says, Oh Mr. Trump I want to be a nurse. I said, A nurse? You want to clean up and you want to be a nurse? I respect nurses but you want to be a nurse. Oh, I love it. Mr. Trump. You know it's just menus that's why they have menus in restaurants they're all different. Would you ever have sex with a woman when she's menstruating? [Inaudible] Oh, good question now. Well, I mean, I think we all have. Depends on how hot she is doing. Did you do it [Inaudible] Honestly, the man just said it. Did you miss the action? Do I miss it? No. Do you miss the action? Come on, be honest. No, I'm extremely satisfied. Are you really? Extremely. Are you? Howard. I want to know the truth. Extremely. You know the problem with your show is, I said, you know, I'm supposed to come over here to talk about affliction which is like this big deal, I own a big piece of this company that's putting on fights you know the MMA, speaking of blood, they'd beat the crap out of me. How many times a week are you having sex with your wife? A lot. Tell the truth. No, a lot. Since the baby? A lot. But less? [Inaudible] Is it true when a woman becomes a mother suddenly -- [Following bracketed section not in the audio] Well, the French say, when a woman becomes a mother you can never blank her. Right. Because you can't disrespect the mother of your child. Right. So you can only make love. So do you agree with that. And the French also say Jerry Lewis is funny. [Inaudible] Are you always the initiator in the sex with your wife, or do you always have to say Honey --]] No, I think now we just have a very good relationship overall. You do. I mean, in every way. The sex has not diminished since the baby? No. I don't believe that. Other than the baby takes a little time, right. You know she takes care of the baby. But no I would say it has not. Have you met the baby or are you involved at all. I'm supposed to meet him tomorrow. [Inaudible] You know, Howard, to go back to what you asked Donald before if he ever had sex with a fat woman, I don't think he ever had sex with a 300-pound woman but I bet he's had three women in his bed that equals 300 pounds. I bet that's true. You've done all of that. Have you done like, have you had [Inaudible] No, I wouldn't say 300 I would say could be about 375. No I meant [Inaudible] double, double -- When you got your wife pregnant -- I think -- I think a 125 a piece as opposed to 100. You got two women at once? Have I had in the past? Two or three women at once? Of course he has. What do you think? Haven't we all? No. [Inaudible] I mean -- Are we babies? But what do you do, Donald? Wait a minute, wait a minute. I wanna know [Inaudible] Although I don't like that. I mean I like -- I have one nice, beautiful love affair. Did you have sex, be honest now, did you have sex, with your wife while she was pregnant? Yes. You did? Up until what month? Probably the first week into the pregnancy. [Inaudible] No problem with it. This is incredibly mature [Inaudible] Just means you like somebody? Yes. Slash love. Yeah, yeah. Do you think you're in love? By the way. Excuse me do am I still in your Top 5 in the history of the Howard Stern Show? Absolutely. You're one of the best guests ever. Well, no. Not only the guest. But I mean, my one episode my one episode. Oh, yeah. That you play back. Oh, yes. There's a million of them, though. A. J. The A. J. Fight and there are a couple other times. They say that was the all-time in the history of Howard Stern all-time top. That's pretty good. That's the best phone call ever if you remember we asked Donald to evaluate all the famous women. It was insanely honest. Yes. And that was great. That was when we were on Sirius. Now who is the greatest beauty now? Well, I tell you I just had the Miss Universe contest, did you see it? Yes. Got very nice ratings. Won the evening. You did well. Hey, Miss America it's in the toilet. Right. When Miss Universe and Miss USA are doing well. You seem to have the golden touch. You know why? Because I pick good looking girls. Right. Yeah. They're hot. Somebody said, How did you do it? I say it's about picking good looking girls. Not these matronly women. Some of the guys like a beauty pageant. Isn't that a little old fashioned? I said, Since when do beautiful women get old fashioned? But you know a lot of people like Miss USA I mean, Well, you were smart Miss America was like, Oh, I don't know if we should put the girls in bikinis. What do you -- Put them in fucking bikinis. Somebody said to me how did you make it so successful? I said, Number one, I got the best looking girls in the world. Number two they wear six-inch heels. And number three they were the tiniest suits you're allowed on television. Right. [Inaudible] Whereas Miss America, they had a protest they shouldn't wear high heels. So they wear flats. Have you ever see a girls legs in flats [Inaudible] Horrible. Horrible I mean, [Inaudible] it's no good. And then they had to wear a big fat bathing suit. So we got very -- Okay, so the girls on the show, I don't -- Did you see it at all? I only have clips. The best-looking group of women that I've ever seen on a beauty pageant. So they were the hottest girls you'd see. And the girl who won was Miss Venezuela. Wow. Doesn't speak a word of English. You like that. And I would say that you -- Well, this -- she can't even say hello. Are you mad your wife even has gotten so good with English. I mean, you like a girl -- Well, she does speak I mean, she is very smart. My wife is really smart. I mean she can look at a car or a computer. She can do any -- She can fix the thing before she opens a computer with no instructions, turns it on fixes it, starts it. I said, Don't you have to read the book? She says, No no. Look all you do -- [Inaudible] She's very smart. And that's good. But I'll tell you what, this -- the girl that one from Venezuela. Yes. Maybe at the top. The girl who came in second from Colombia speaks not a word of English, Robin, but many men would leave their wives even though they can't speak Spanish. They could never make a same status [Inaudible] Who is the hottest celebrity right now? Well, let me just say that though Jennifer Hawkins, Jennifer Hawkins was Miss Universe three years ago. Okay. She's now the biggest star in Australia. Wow. She was a judge at the contest. The contest of all places was in Vietnam, which was a very nice. Right. We are now going to Vietnam. I got a case of the shakes. I was in Vietnam. Vietnam is a hot country. But you know when I was going to high school when I was going to college Vietnam was like, the big deal. It's like you know you have to leave college and go. I said excuse me now I'm going to Vietnam for beauty pageant. That you travel to these places even Dubai and all that a series of what am I doing I'm a rich guy I've got a great life why am I going to Vietnam. Bad things can happen. I didn't go to Vietnam. I actually stayed at home. It was a long trip. I was going to go get my pilot says, Sir, 24 hours. What? Excuse me? And you go to Dubai. I go to Dubai. You travel on plane? Aren't you afraid of all that. Don't you just want to stay alive? No, I understand life that life is fragile and it's just what it is you've got to do. Not afraid of death? No. And I have a good time with my life. You know, I mean, I have a good time. I could lock myself into a nice building. Pick my least conspicuous building. Okay. I'll take my least conspicuous go to my worst location least conspicuous you know. Right. I just lock myself in and take a nice apartment. You won't do that. But that's not my thing. You like the action. I like action, Howard. Alright. Speaking of action. By the way do you know who lives in a Trump building? Who? Fred Norris No kidding? Fred Norris? Yeah. That's true. Mel Karmazin. Lives in one of the great -- I won't tell you which one because he'll be inundated by his many fans but -- Groupies. Mel not only does he live in a Trump building but he lived in the Trump building before he moved up. He stepped up in class, he went from one good one to one great one. That is very true. Everyone lives in my buildings so, you know. But I didn't know Fred Norris had a Trump Building. It's an honor to have Fred. Great place to live. Did you ever try to evict Fred? You know he's very very current. You know who doesn't live in the Trump building? Benji. Benji. [Inaudible] That's true. He lives in the alley beside Trump. All right now listen, Donald Trump isn't here for his health. All right. What's he here for? And by the way Ralph wants to agree with Donald Trump real quick that Miss Venezuela is the hottest chick. Go ahead. You can verify. Oh, my god. I fuckin watched the show the other night. The hottest chicks you ever seen. Me and JD were watching. And we are both picked three chicks. I think Miss Kosovo, Miss Russia and Venezuela and I won. That's right. And you are right and Miss -- Miss Colombia was un -- How hot was Kosovo? Kosovo was beyond belief. Actually a couple of our male judges have never returned to the country. Ralph told me the way he watches the -- the Miss Universe contest. They pick three girls pick a horse yet you pick a horse and you pick one. And you bet on. And he won with Miss Venezuela. Actually it's become a big betting deal. You know, this is what I need. Okay. But it's become now a big deal. That's good. But the Miss Universe contest now has become a monster. And you know you saw the other day and they just did the ratings thing and it won the evening and the ratings. It does great. It's I got a good look of anger now. I bought a property for peanuts. I made it hot. Is that good? You did well. This is your whole thing. OK now let's talk about affliction. You can now explain what affliction is and why you got involved. Well MMA, mixed martial arts, and I always like it. I love it. You know, I do more boxing than anybody probably. I have Mike Tyson was fought for me, I think 16 times more than anybody else. Big money maker. Mike Tyson was a great money maker. Boxing is so hot though. Boxing has become cold. But any time you announce a Mike Tyson fight sold out in three seconds, okay? And boxing today is not the same thing. It's fine. There's no superstar. Yeah, I think. All of a sudden you have some hot guy come up, it will be fun. Boxing will always be fun. But the hot thing now is MMA. And we have a company we formed a company with a very, very substantial group of guys. And it's also with Affliction, which is a clothing company, which is a phenomenal company which is hot as a pistol. And this is mixed martial arts? It is mixed -- And we have a fight on Saturday night and it's going to be on Pay-per view, Saturday night at the Honda Center, which is sold out, which is -- Why is this such a big fight? Who is fighting? We have Feidor, the Russian, who's never been defeated. He is -- They say the toughest guy in the world. What's his thing? Karate, Jujitsu? Everything. His thing is inflicting death on people. [Inaudible] He's insane. How big a guy is he? He's abnormally strong. How tall. He's not that big either. Weighs about 225 pounds. He's fighting a guy who's a great champion who weighs a hundred pounds more and he's like six inches seven inches taller. Wow. And not giving the other guy a great chance they give him a chance but not a great chance. And I said how could this guy who I met because I'm six foot three and I'm probably taller than Feidor. Which in theory would mean I should be able to take him out. Have you ever fought? Have you ever been in a street fight? Well I'm not into a street fight I've been. I used to fight a lot in high school. We probably think you grew up you know fairly wealthy this kind of. I actually used to fight a lot. I mean, I almost got thrown out of school a couple of times for fighting. You got your ass kicked, or you kicked some ass? I was good. I was good. But I really said, in fact I looked at this guy, and there was a group of beautiful women standing there you know there always are, there have a lot of beautiful women. For some reason, it's like 10 people trying to tempt me. But you know a thing like that isn't a possibility. No. You're very much in love. That's because I'm in love. So there's this beautiful woman and I'm looking -- Wait, and I look at the way I'm looking at this Russian Feidor, with a face like you don't want to touch, with ears like I've never seen before, Like an animal. Muscles on his -- his shoulders like I've never I've never seen muscles. His neck is like, I think it's 28 inches. I said to the girls let me ask you a question, If I worked out for a little while do you think I could take this guy? They go, Yes Mr. Trump. There it is, money speaks. Going back for one second. Do you really think you're capable of loving another human being? I mean seriously. Really loving? Really loving? Sure absolutely sure. Oh, absolutely. Are you talking about children also? No. Forget children. I know you're not capable of that. Do you really love? When you say you're in love, what does that mean to you? What does it mean to you? What does it mean to love your wife? Well, I have a very deep love for my wife, I do. What does that mean? It means -- it means a friendship. It means respect. It means you like you really like somebody. You like being around somebody. It means you're like protecting that person. If she died tomorrow, God forbid. I'd never go out with another one. You know you would. No I wouldn't. I might not. Might! [Inaudible] You know what I hate. When I see a woman and a man married, and a woman is married to a rich guy, right? And then the guy kicks the bucket. He's gone and she's dating the following week. Drives you crazy. And now she's living in a mansion you know the beautiful mansion in Palm Beach and the whole thing. Do you worry that Melania would do that? You suddenly had a heart attack or something. I always say as I go into one of my many houses I say, You know if any guy ever lives in this house I'm going to be looking up at you. I'm going to be cursing you. If Melania got fat, I'm talking about 60 pounds heavier. Do you think you could really love her? Absolutely. You do? Oh, sure. No problem. A lot of your ego know a lot of No problem, look at Robin. Look how skinny Robin, how much weight did you lose? A lot of your ego You look great. A lot of your ego is, you want to be seen in public with a beautiful woman. You think he's that shallow? Of course he's just like me. I don't need to be with a beautiful woman. I mean, stop. Well, we've never seen you with a So if Beth gained 100 pounds you wouldn't be with her? You'd drop her? What? 100 pounds? Oh, my god. I'm telling you. Melania gains 70 pounds and has facial hair now. You're not staying with her. I'd be I'd be extremely loyal. You'd be turned off. Physical doesn't mean anything to me. [Inaudible] There's an idea for a show I want to show you. Put you on Pay-per view, Celebrity multi-millionaire Billionaire. Billionaire. Bowling. You versus Warren Buffett. That sounds good. Sounds good. How about golf? Bowling is good. If you were in a bowling alley with Warren Buffett I'd watch that. [Inaudible] We got a good deal on a bowling alley. Let's review. We've got the big Affliction Coming up Saturday That sounds like a success. I love to watch guys beat the hell out of each other and this is what we're talking about. We're talking about guys really But we have the best fighters, we have the best fighters in the world and not only Feidor, but we have a whole list of fights that are phenomenal fights and everybody in that world really knows, and they know all the fighters. And you don't have any moral issue like where you are, Maybe I should tell you guys you're okay with it? Well, I've been doing it all my life. You like it? Well, I've been doing it all my life. I love fights. I mean I -- I love boxing too, but boxing somehow has lost an edge. And you know I don't know something's wrong, sometimes you'll see a match which is so mismatched and then the other guy wins, the one or lost wins and you get tired of it. I've watched too many fights. Cause it's the real deal. Well, this way it's sort of like you just somebody dies. I've never seen anything like that and it's terrible. You know it's not like oh how would the judges voting. Okay, it's like you know somebody just succumbs. Right? Right. Irish John Go ahead quick for Mr. Trump, quickly. Hi, Mr. Trump. Hi. With Howard's interview with Piers Morgan. He spoke of how distractingly hot your daughter was if you had known that during the competition would you have fired him on the spot? Piers Morgan said, he at times he could not concentrate during the Apprentice because your daughter is so frickin hot. She is hot. I mean look, she is, she's a beautiful person she's got every guy calling. I have like a gatekeeper. She's single again, right? She was -- she is but she's actually now she's with a young man who's a great guy. And I don't know what's going to happen. I'm not sure what's going to happen but she has actually got a boyfriend who's a great guy. Does this still drive you crazy when some guys tagging your daughter? I mean I you know I mean have -- Tagging, It's something I can't even think about. You don't even think about it. I can't imagine. You do background checks on these guys? No. Tell the truth. Not in this case I mean she's got a very nice guy. So we'll see how much. Rich guy? Yeah yeah. Use her in all the ads she looks stunning. She looks beautiful. She has really become a big star. You know even really before the Apprentice she was doing well. But then I put on the Apprentice and she became amazing. Do you love her more than your son because she is more famous? No. I have all great children. I have five children. Not the little ones. The two older sons. No. They're great. I have Eric and Don. Rank the kids in terms of your favoritism. All the same in the world. Like you two and they're all very different. I mean, they're very different but you know You don't love any of them. I put let's say your daughter and your two sons on a boat. You have to throw two of the kids overboard. Who do you save? You've got to say, listen, you might as well save one of them. Everyone of them is gonna die if you don't save one. Who do you throw overboard? Nah, that's not even a question I want to answer. I thought you'd say your daughter. Your daughter is more famous. She is very famous. Won't you save your daughter? She's on the cover of every magazine. She's doing great. It be more worthwhile to save her? No. I just couldn't answer a question like that I mean that's a question you can't even answer. They're all great kids. How do you feel being a grandfather. Not good. He's not -- You're not gonna let them call you grandpa. No I don't. And I don't consider myself a grandfather. I don't even want to hear the term. Can they call you Donald? What does the kid call you? Seriously. My boy? You're not grandpa. [Inaudible] Your grandson. Oh, it's a granddaughter. Doesn't call me anything. I don't get to see her very much. The kid doesn't have his number. I expect to see the child over the next few months. I'll let you know. Would you be willing to do a show where I put you in a boat with your children and we sink it? And you have to save one of them alive? I'll pass on that. Let me pass on that show. Seriously I have a friend who became a grandfather he does not see himself in that role it doesn't want to be called Grandpa. True. He has a nickname for himself. You know he did call. Wouldn't it be wise for your grandchild to call you Donald? Yes. Or D or something where it isn't grandpa. Anything but Grandpa. So, what are you gonna do? What's the name? I don't know. I'll train the kid properly. Why not an apprentice with all of your children. And we get to pick the favorite child. What do you think? Come on let's get crazy. Actually Don has done very well in The Apprentice also. That's right. My son Don has done very well. But you know it's a little tougher I think for a guy as opposed to a woman. How about all your ex-wives in The Apprentice? Who would win? He was at Ivana's wedding. You two are sort of friendly right now? She was very nice. she got married at Mar-a-Lago and I met her new husband. Yeah. Nice guy. Seems like a nice guy. He came to me they came to me and they said would it be possible for us to use Mar-a-lago? I said, would you pay me $2 million of my money. And they said, Oh, how about a million? I said, [Inaudible] They got married at Mar-a-Lago it was a very nice wedding and Do you feel he loves her? The new husband I haven't asked him. What do you think is going on there? I don't know. I mean he must love her. He's a much younger guy. Much younger. He doesn't have the assets she has. Do you feel he married her for her money? No. What? I think he married her because he's desperately in love. Ever hear the song desperately and hopelessly in love? I hear that sound from years ago I remember right away and hopelessly in love. That's that's pretty sad when you're desperate and hopeless. Well I think he's desperately and hopelessly in love. I am very excited about Affliction brand because I love this mixed martial arts. I do. Good. Everyone who knows me knows that. It's going to watch on Saturday night. I think because I'm so weak and I can't fight, that I love to watch other men beat the crap out of each other. It's a fun thing for me to watch. I like it. I love it. So let's remind people this is Feidor? Right. Versus Sylvia Correct. Seriously tough people. Saturday night live. On Pay-per view. Correct. And for more information you can go to afflictionclothing.com Correct. And if we review today's show you are upset about the current crisis in this country. Correct. You dislike the president. You dislike the president? Not dislike. I disrespect and I think he's doing a terrible job. Right and you're ready to fire him to use the words of The Apprentice. He's hopefully going to be fired by his own accord pretty soon. You know it's amazing. He lied to this country about really important things like the most important things. Got us into a war that we shouldn't be and we should be. I'm the worst hawk of all. I am -- I am not like a dove. I am the way. But we went to the wrong place Okay. We did go to the red line in Afghanistan. You know Saddam Hussein like them are not like him. He used to kill the terrorists. [Inaudible] A breeding ground for terrorists. He's more afraid of the terrorists than we are. He used to kill terror -- If they came into the country he would kill. That's right. So he was in a way. He's the only one who could even run the country. So it's you know it's a very very sad situation. The thing about Hussein was he was more like a mafia don he wasn't a religious freak, you know, that's more American we could deal with it And I tell you what, like this guy, date this guy. When that guy a character with a cell phone took the picture of him before he got hung. There aren't a lot of people that would handle it the way he did. That's why he's cursing at everybody saying you know this and that he's not out there begging saying, Oh, please don't do this please. He's out there as, you know, say what you want. He was one tough cookie. And he went down in a manly way. The best thing that ever happened to him? That cell phone because it showed he has guts. That's right. And you know how I came up with a nickname that Donald's granddaughter could call him. An acronym Reeva Which is? Reason I'm very affluent. [Inaudible] I like that. You, you have a big day ahead of you. So you have to go promote the show that you're going to be doing right. Well that's not. I mean this is the only one I'm doing I'm not doing anymore that I'm I'm actually having a big closing today. I'm buying something. What are you buying today? I'm buying a big building someplace In Manhattan? Yeah but I can't talk about it because I haven't signed the contract. Is it a great time to buy a building in Manhattan? Well, it's a great time to buy real estate. This is a great time to buy real estate. There are deals. I used to make speeches and I have thousands and thousands of people show up to speak and for years I'd say don't buy don't buy don't buy now's the time now I say bye bye bye. This is the time to buy. [Inaudible] But you can't get financing because the banks are all busted. You know, the banks are all out of business. They're going down the tube. I say, Yeah but the financing is already there the banks already put up the money it's a foreclosed building it's a mess. You take back the paper You're putting up any of your own money? I put up my money I put up money and you can make good deals today. This is a great time to buy real estate. You're going to buy the entire building? Yeah that's what I do. On your own. Yeah that's what I do for a living. You're not going to do it with a group of people? I actually do that for a living. No I know that I do it to do that with a group of sometimes and partnerships and sometimes I don't but you know usually I like to just buy it myself. And then you'll rent out the spaces? Whatever. I rent it, I redevelop it and I sell it. He might condo it and sell it. I'm buying a new club in New Jersey. I'm doing something New Jersey that's going to be amazing. I have this great club that I'm buying that I'm going to make a very very successful. What is going to go [Inaudible]. I already have I bought John DeLorean eight years ago and I turned it into Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster New Jersey and made that a tremendous success. What you're doing over at Scotland or. I have a big thing going and Scotland I have thousands of acres in Scotland. I have thousands of acres in Scotland. What are you worth today? Today, what are your worth? I mean a lot of money. Seven billion. Yeah, maybe. Seven billion? Maybe more than that. He says, If you can count it, you're not worth much. Would you ever be one of those guys at some point say look I'm old enough. I'm going to give away five billion of my money and I'll be fine with two. Warren Buffett right. Why I think I'd do that but I'll do that upon death as opposed to when I'm living. Are you leaving the kids set? Well I have great kids and they do a good job for me and they work in the business they're really doing. Do you want to be the richest guy in the world? No. Because you know I just want to do what I'm doing. I don't do it for money I do it because I really love doing it and I'm making money because I do it well. I mean if do a building [Inaudible]I If I do it and you find out he's worth $10 billion, do you go, Man, I'm not successful. No. Because first of all he's a great friend of mine. He's a member of the Mar-a-Lago club, which I like. He's a member of all my club. And he's a great guy. No. I don't I don't feel that way. I wish I was worth more than him. You know there's always Bill Gates there's always somebody else out there. There is always somebody. That's a lot of billions to get. Recently somebody said Bill Gates is now number two. There's always somebody, he can't let that get you. You know you don't care about it? No. Doesn't matter I just want to know what kind of servants you have like, do you get up in them like you wake up -- Oh, shut up. Do you have a butler who wakes you up and serves you breakfast, lays out your clothes. Melania. Who bathes you, who dresses you? I get up very early I read the papers in the morning. Three papers? Well I read I think The Post does a very good job every time. The Times The Times, The Wall Street Journal. I see the news. I get a lot of paper.[Inaudible] When you get up you have to pee immediately, right? Like the rest of us, I assume, unless you're so wealthy -- But who's waking you up? Is the butler getting up [Inaudible] No. I get up myself. I really don't have anybody. I have like an alarm clock I get up at 4:30. You have a urinal that you're peeing too or do you have a toilet? Urinal. Toilet. You have a toilet. Do you seat down on the toilet when you pee or do you stand up? I don't even think about it. I would say mostly in the standing position. Has Melania ever waken you up with a blowjob. Oh! Cause you're a billionaire. If you're not getting that -- Nobody should. So she doesn't, does she? She wouldn't do a thing like that. Let me introduce you. She wouldn't wake you up with oral She wouldn't. By the way. [Inaudible] Don't get off the segway. Has Melania waken you up with her mouth on your penis? Do you remember when I said one of the most beautiful women in the world Miss Russia. About four or five years ago. Why are you changing the subject? That ruined her that destroyed her. You know she quit Miss Universe after doing a show. Stop. She became Miss Universe and she started asking her questions like this, she quit. But actually I fired her. I said, Oxana, you're fired. Mr. Trump. She became impossible after this show. Would that annoy you if a woman woke you up that way. Like in other words when you were laying on your back and I felt that you would like that. Is that a fantasy of yours? No but it's something that wouldn't particularly bother me. So she should wake you up that way. Who says she doesn't? You're saying no. I mean you know we we have a very very good time together. I bet your billionaire buddies are jealous when she's parading around a bathing suit and there was some old hag. Well, some of them don't like me for that. That's right they get jealous. All right. Let me suggest something Mr. Trump, the next time you can put $50 in cash together when you're in Vegas you can get something called the hooker alarm clock. Oh, my God. Artie loves that. They'll blew you away and finally I have another suggestion. How long before we see. And I think this has a great ring to it. But Trumpire State building. I've run out of names I have towers and castles and everything. I've run out of them. So that's a very fine name. I like that you can have that Artie's giving you. Howard you have to do me a favor you have to watch on Saturday night. Yes. Saturday night Affliction band featuring Feidor versus Sylvia. Right. It's a big fight because Feidor's never been defeated. Never been defeated ever. This Saturday Night Live on pay-per-view. That should be fun. For more information go to affilictionclothing.com. Correct. And let me tell you something. It should be good. Have you found yourself in a social situation with Rosie O'Donnell yet have you run into it? I really haven't. I mean you calm down about that. I was never crazy about it, but you know she attacked me and I attacked her back and became this crazy. You launched some missiles, man. Like I said I tried it. I go on The Today Show and Meredith is very nice. Yes. And her friends I'm talking about The Apprentice going on you know the Apprentice is going on in an hour right after the Super Bowl. So she starts off, Donald what about Rosie O'Donnell? I say, What about it? since you guys but do you hate her. And did you call her fat. I said, No. I called her, Degenerate. I didn't use the word fat because it's politically incorrect but I did call her a total degenerate and I did call her a pig. I shouldn't have called her that. She asked me third question about Rosie. Then she said, Can I ask you a question. Why do you always talk about Rosie. Cause you asked me the question. [Inaudible] I think you ask me right now a lot about his lovely daughter and I must say that, and this is no bullshit. I think she really is one of the most uniquely beautiful women that I was just on a plane. And I had a magazine and she's got a fascinating look. Now. You know I think He's asking for your permission. This is very gentleman. I roasted you from here. I think we're friends. He doesn't even know your name. I make a good living. I do. I'm alright. I would say he fits in beautifully. Day I drop a few pounds and maybe I lose the Jersey accent and I was up [Inaudible]. He would never allow you to have sex with her daughter. Tell him. But you're a very handsome guy actually. Yeah. Nobody knows. Artie's a very good looking. I think that your name is Artie, right? Well, thank you. You got it right. Is she the kind of girl who would date like she got all levels like. I think she'd love to date you. Honestly. Would she date a guy. [Inaudible] He's being sarcastic. She's very beautiful. She is beautiful. Let's hope you do hook up with her. Because that would be great for the show. The Donald will have me killed. You have Donald hanging from the Trumpire State building. All right. Everyone, listen. Affliction band featuring Feidor versus Sylvia. Check it out this Saturday night live on pay-per view, if you're a fan of mixed martial arts I think you're going to like this one. If you need any more information you go to affilictionclothing.com. Donald Trump, what can I say? You're still a home run. You're always the guy who comes in here mixes it up and I like it, and it's great seeing you. And we love having you on the show Great guy. Great seeing you.