Tell you we're here and live and I'm in a coma. This has been exciting. Yes. We have to quickly get here our next guest. He is a very busy man, he decided to -- Really. To stop by today just wish you a happy birthday. We haven't seen him in a while certainly not since he says he won $20 million in the Tyson Holyfield fight. Oh, there he is. Here is Donald Trump . Donald Trump. Always stopping by. Look at him. Yeah, I need to get to the bottom of that $20 million. Yeah. Let's see if we can get him to give us some of the money. There he is. It was money he wasn't expecting anyway. Hey, Donald. Get your hands off my mother's ass. What's the matter with you? You're a married man. Up is my sister, really into him. Oh, yeah. She loves him. My sister thinks... Oh, oh. Donald, waking up my wife. Have sex with my wife, Donald. It's ok, man. I dig you. You can have her, go ahead. What, you lose a bunch of weight or something? Hi there. Yeah, you look great. How are you? You look good. This is the richest man in America, Donald Trump . All right. Where were you, the sun? What happened? Yeah, sit down, sit down. Yeah, he's got too much [Inaudible] he doesn't work anymore. You're not working anymore? Hello, Howard. Yes. Good. How are you doing? Thank you, first of all, and brightening our day as you know you do. Well, thank you very much. You look like you've been in the sun. What are you on a vacation? Well, I was actually playing tennis yesterday in Long Beach. With who? It has got to be somebody famous. You can't just play tennis with anybody. Somebody very attractive and reasonably famous. Who is that? I can't tell you. Your wife? Yes. It was, right? That's right. Yeah, right. Look at your wife, she looks so great. Go ahead, have sex with her. I don't care. You're Donald Trump, you can have her. You've been offering it to everyone. What was it? And I heard that on the way up, you were offering it to many people. No, you almost have everything in life. You can't be serious. I mean, you know we don't play games. You made love to beautiful women, of course, and your wife is very beautiful, but one thing you never have is my wife and I don't have a problem with that. You don't do better than this. That's right. You do not. Look at that, always a charmer. I don't know how she takes it, but that's okay. That's all right. As a matter of fact, I made love to my wife last night, Donald. How do you know? Yup. My wife came in with a brand new outfit that she bought for me, and I tell everyone how good -- Tell Donald Trump how good it was. We got his birthday present. Yeah. A birthday present for her. My wife bought me a bunch of pajamas, none of them fit, and then I had to return everything, that was the end of the birthday celebration. I came home and went to sleep. So, anyway, what happened with the $20 million? Did you really win the $20 million? Or -- Well, you know, a reporter came up and said, Did you win $20 million? Right. And I said, I absolutely have no comment. Really? And they said, three or four times, Did you win? I said, I absolutely have no comment. Right. The next day I was quoted in every paper. Right. As saying? As saying that I did. Right, But in actuality, I'm in a very, very small bet. Right. It was much less than that amount. And now Mike Tyson's angry. Right. Why? Really? Why is he angry? Because he bet against him. Oh yeah, that's right. But you did bet against him. Evander Holyfield is a little bit upset because I said I only made the bet because of the 20-1 odd. Right, you like the odd. So, they're calling, and they're all angry. I lost a lot of friends. But you have to bet because you're on casinos and stuff. Life is a bet. That's right. That's the way it is. Life is one big fat bet. Let me ask you a question though when you bet and you win, do you still have to give some of that to Ivana, or you're done with that completely? Are you out of that hole now? Well, she has developed a little cottage industry with, you know, Donald, Donald, Donald, works. That's right. You know, you hand a girl -- a woman -- a lot of money Oh, she's a girl, because she doesn't think like a woman. Yeah, you've always said that. You never liked her. I never liked her. I never liked her. And I stuck with you through the whole divorce. When a lot of people coming down on you, a lot of women's lived times for saying you should stick with your wife. Isn't that? I thought Ivana was a big pain in the ass, you got rid of her and you're doing just fine. I'll be honest, I ran from accents. I will tell you he's been very consistent. It's a huge audience. It's been good, Donald. There's only been two people who stuck with him through the whole thing, and that was Marla and you. That's right.[Inaudible] Howard came to my wedding. Yeah. And I ran back and turned on the television, cause we had lots of coverage. It was how they covered my wedding. That's right. Now Marla hasn't been there before, I've been there before. So, you know, I went to see how it was covered. And they had him -- He said there was a wet eye in the house. Right, right. It was 1-12. Yeah. Which was a total disaster. And the other thing he said, this is the night of the wedding, you know you're sitting, it's romantic, it's beautiful. He said, I give the wedding four months. Which was on every television station in the country. [Inaudible] I made him look bad. That's the only reason you're still married, to prove him wrong. You would've been divorced a long time ago. It's just to prove him wrong. But of course, I'm not the only famous guest, O.J. was there. And of course, you provided the picture for the back of my book. I should get a piece of that book. It's a very successful book. Yes, it was. But I am not giving you anything. And of course, you think O.J. is very innocent, I know that. Yeah. Why else is he on the back of the book? Well, by the way, let me make a statement here, and this is a testament of, O.J. didn't kill anyone that night. That night of the wedding, you kept the -- O.J. in -- you kept him in line. That's right, you're really good, I was afraid. You were really good friends with all O.J. I mean, I mean, I was shocked by it. I mean, how good of a friend would you say he was? Well, I used to play a lot of golf with O.J. Howard/Robin Yeah. And I was always a little bit surprised when I'd see that O.J. he was very arthritic and he wasn't able to possess a tee, I just played golf with him. I mean, you know. You never saw him he have a problem, huh? Seem to be anything [Inaudible] I think he take a lot of Advil, that was the thing. How come they didn't call Donald? I will be next. At the back I was standing next to O.J. when you were cutting the cake and O.J. says, Well, what kind of knife that is? is using. He was really curious, you know what I mean? It's pretty wild. But Dominique called me up. Where's Dominique? Dominique barber the bloat [Inaudible] over there. He called me. He said, You've got to be, you've got to be here. And I missed last year, and I thought very well, I felt guilty about it, so I'm gonna be here. Is that right? Well, I'm glad to hear this. You should be here. It's tradition to be here on the birthdays. And you wouldn't feel too bad. That's right. About the fact that Ivana is suing the people who made her yacht or whatever. Oh, I love that. What people don't know, Ivana calls me constantly. I need a yacht, I want a boat, I want this. This is not a yacht, first of all, it's a cabin cruiser. Right. This is not a real yacht. I asked her not to buy it, don't buy it, but once you buy it you have it. Right. Now you don't knock the hell out of it, so it's now it's got zero value. She's not gonna win the lawsuit, it's got zero value. You're saying she's not a good businessman? So she lost $6 million of my money and I'm not happy about it. She bought a yacht with your own money and lost the money. She certainly did. Yes she did. Real problem You know I'm sitting on a plane I see this first wive's club and they got Ivana, and I'm -- This is another thing. She should go home and take care of the kids, take care of Donald's kids. It does get out of control, but that's okay. Right, but how do you feel about your daughter's modeling career? You okay with that? She's doing great, and she's really -- you know, she likes it, Ivanka. Right. And she's doing tremendously well. And you're doing well, you were here, you remarried, your marriage is successful. Yes, it's true, the whole thing with Ivana was very public and all that, but as Donald taught me one very important lesson -- What did he teach you? He took me a side of his wedding and he said to me, You know now I'm getting remarried, he said to me, Howard, vagina is expensive. That is what he said to me, and I'll never forget those words, and the guy was right. Those were exact words. Those were the exact words, ladies and gentlemen. And don't I know it, doesn't my wife keep reminding me of that. The great Donald Trump, everybody. Thanks for coming by in the birthday. . And do we take a break here? Yeah, we better. All right, we'll take a break.